Everyone wants to feel respected, worthy, whole, and accepted. Couples feel the most secure when their closest relationships feel comfortable and safe. Each partner wants to feel accepted and not judged. Sometimes, fear of losing one’s partner or fear of upsetting them (which might lead to losing them), can hold people back from fully revealing themselves. By not expressing their feelings, they believe they can avoid the pain of loss, or at least limit the pain. But by not being your total self, you are already losing something, and either way loss hurts. And in the meantime, what you’ve really lost is the everyday pleasure that true love and emotional intimacy can bring. Living in fear of future loss stops you from enjoying the present. Connection and closeness nurture couples. The sense of safety and care promotes stable and growing relationships. At midlife, you have the time you may not have had earlier in your life to get in touch with and share your emotions with your partner. Sharing feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, and needs
builds emotional intimacy.

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Dr. Dorree Says

Intimacy isn’t always genteel and quiet. Sometimes intimacy and love include arguing, zealous conversation, touching, dancing, crying, singing, passionate sex, and slow, tender sex. It’s all intimacy if you share a deep connection together. More...

What is Love? Part III

Let’s follow a typical romantic relationship. Two people fall in love. Lots of lust, parasitic feelings and an overwhelming desire to declare ownership over the beloved. Under the influence of lust, which is a form of accepted insanity, a life changing decision is made to commit to love the other forever. So in other words, each declare they will always choose to love the other, regardless of any changes that happen.

To begin with, you’d need supernatural powers to love someone after you’re dead, so forever is stretching it a bit. But, insanity will do that to a thought process. You can’t own someone unless they’re a slave, but our culture teaches us we have ownership over others. It’s in the very nature of our language. “My significant other.” The word my is used as a prefix to define most of our relationships. My friend, my brother, my attorney. We don’t own these people, but we speak as if we do. I don’t think this is a good idea to speak as if we own folks, but our cultural infrastructure doesn’t leave us much choice.

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Sex for Grownups: Dr. Dorree Reveals the Truth, Lies and Must-Tries for Great Sex After 50

Sex for Grownups delves deeply where other books only peek: between the sheets of adults having sex (or wanting to) in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond. You are not now, nor will you ever be, too old, too ill, too unattractive, or too alone for fulfilling sex. Learn how to open yourself to new ways of thinking, feeling, and enjoying great sex after 50. You're still rockin' - and we don't mean in a chair.

More than 80 million American women and men over fifty are facing a number of very common yet rarely talked about challenges in the bedroom—from low libido to unrealistic expectations, from waning hormones to physical limitations, from repressed desires and fantasies to performance anxiety. With humor and judgment-free advice, Dr. Dorree shows women and men how, with a little attitude shift and some adjustments to life's inevitable changes, the best really can be yet to come.

Pre-order your book here!

Almost everyone has slammed Tiger’s wooden written apology. I liked it. He is a Buddhist. Buddhists do not spill their guts as do those of our celebrity oriented culture.  He has always been a private person. Why do we want him to change overnight? He requested privacy, patience and time. What we got is the same Tiger we applauded on the golf course. Why do we expect Tiger to change his stripes and become our version of the Lion we fickle Americans have now decided we want?  Let’s leave him be. He’s got enough of a personal mess to clean. And as far as his diagnosis? Sex addiction is the new celebrity diagnosis for needy people who don’t have any idea how to be intimate. Sex is their quick fix. America has come to love the hoopla surrounding rehab and quick fixes.  Tiger, with grace, remains a champion, requesting something deeper than that. Can we give him what he has asked for and obviously needs? Tiger, I’ve never been a big golf fan, but right now I am your personal fan.

Dear Dr. Dorree,

Do I really want to start dating again at this stage of life? It takes so much work to find someone new and then put in all that time and effort to see if they’re really the right person.  It’s all so exhausting and I’ve had so many hurts. I’m starting to wonder if it is it really worth the bother.  —Lisa, 63

Dear Lisa,

Faced with dating again after 50, you might want to just pull the covers over your head and sleep alone forevermore.  That fine, if it’s what you really want. But are you sure you are not just scared? Many mature women and men remember dating in their earlier years, and let’s just say their recollections are not entirely filled with glee. The same things that made dating so nerve-racking when we were younger can feel twice as terrifying now. No one wants to get hurt, or worse, get hurt once more.

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Today in the checkout line at the grocers was the day when I could not bear one more magazine yelling at me about Julie, Brad, Jen, and other “beautiful people,” or anorexic young women with small dogs as accessories.  These covers were obscene next to those with photos of the people of Haiti.  Let’s check in with reality here.

Tiger Woods’ treatment for sexual addiction does not impact my world, but the recent election of Scott Brown (Rep.) as the new Senator from Massachusetts may. It jeopardizes health care reform. The U.S. health system receives a higher portion of our gross domestic product than that of other nations but our health care ranks well below that of other developed nations. In fact, the U.S. has the 2nd worst newborn mortality rate in the developed world.  The European nations pay considerably less for health care and have healthier citizens.

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