According to a recent AARP study published in the media May 7th, 2010, seniors are having less sex.  The primary reason given is that financial strain is impacting their ability to be intimate.  Some really harsh and little known statistics indicate that there may be some truth to this analysis. though it is far from the only and whole truth.

A quarter of the more than 1 million Americans who filed for personal bankruptcy in 2007 are 55 and over.  They are the fastest growing group of bankruptcy filers in America.  In fact, according to another AARP study conducted in 2008, personal bankruptcy filings soared by nearly 151 percent among people 55-64 and by almost 178 percent among those 65 to 74. People 75 and older saw the highest jump in filings, a whopping increase of 567% from 1991 to 2007.  These are astonishing statistics, especially for generations who grew up thinking bankruptcy was a shameful occurrence.

The reasons for bankruptcy and financial crisis are different for those over fifty than those who are younger.  Most often it’s not due to expansive spending, but rather high health care costs due to serious illness.  Other reasons seniors get into debt is to help children or grandchildren.  Those over fifty tend to use their credit cards to charge necessities like groceries, unanticipated home repairs and especially medical expenses and prescription drugs.

Seniors tend to want to pay their bills and experience being in financial default as shameful.  On the whole, they would do almost anything they can rather than not pay their bills.  In this current economic climate there is a paucity of help to educate this age group as to where to go for help. Several bills are currently in congress that address this issue. If they pass, they should help remedy this situation.

But one needn’t go to the extremes of bankruptcy to experience anxiety around financial issues. Even those who are well off but who simply desire to cut back are anxious in these financial times.  I am not a financial analyst and it is not my job to advise those over 50 where to put their money.  However, I can tell those who are particularly anxious and/or depressed the following five helpful stress relieving hints to stay sexy through these  economically challenging times.

1. Don’t panic and rush to shift your money without sound financial advice. Or another way of stating the same ideas is if you feel the urge to immediately act, don’t.  Take a deep breath. Take a walk.  Talk to someone, sleep on your decision (even if you have trouble sleeping) and let your fear subside.

2. Talk to your family, especially your grown kids.  If you’ve been helping them, now is the time when they can stretch some and pay you back.  There is no shame in asking them for help.  After all, you have given to them for years.

3. Continue with exercise, keep your hobbies, visit your friends, remain active in your community and/or place of worship, and keep whatever routines and connections that have always kept you stable. You need to think about other things besides money.  Otherwise, you can obsess yourself into emotional despair and even illness.

4. Try not to irrationally lash out.  When people are scared, they tend to freeze like ice and are unable to think, they may curl up in a ball or lash out at loved ones.  While none of these are useful behaviors, the latter is particularly unhelpful and unfair.  It helps to understand that when someone hits out at a loved one, it is almost always in the relationship where they feel safest to unload their concerns.  Think twice before anger eliminates kindness.  Being with loved ones and keeping community remains one of the best antidotes to anxiety, depression and obsessive thinking that exists.

5. Most importantly, go back to home base.  Reach out and make love.  Whether it’s intercourse, or just talking, touching or keeping connected.  It's all sex.  Love still makes the world go round.  And it’s never needed more than when times are not booming.  Doom and gloom may have a basis in realty issues and may sneak up and catch you unaware. Reach out. Touch, love and make love. The life and sexy relationship you save, can be your own.